Response to a Random Reader re: Rape
how bout that alliteration, huh?
so, someone left a comment on the ‘rape responsibility’ piece that ran at Uptown Mag. i wanted to share it here because i think it’s a great example of the teaching moments that pop up during such an uncomfortable discourse.
women: share when you can and when you’re comfortable.
men: listen fiercely.
his comment was:
You make it sound as if rape is an ever present occurance, and it’s something that you can just walk into if you’re not careful. Like it’s there just waiting to happen if you’re not paying attention.
It’s not dog shit. It’s not black ice.
There are few professional rapists out there.
Most times it happens spur of the moment when the perp desires to gain the upper hand.
They’re not out there 24/7 with their raping gear in tow.
this was my response:
i dont blame you for not knowing that this is ridiculous and wrong. as a male, and even without your avatar id be able to tell you were a guy, your male privilege keeps you from understand what like is like for women. you dont live the life we do, so you dont know what it’s like, and you never will, 100%.
you dont know what its like to have to look over your shoulder, constantly, when walking down the street alone, because if a man will talk reckless to a woman he doesnt know on the street, physical assault is a very real possibility.
seriously, talk to some women. no–*listen* to some women talk about their experiences and what they go through. humble yourself, let down your defenses, and open your ears as wide as possible. dont just listen; really *hear* what they’re saying. because that’s the only way you’ll come close to knowing how it feels to live the reality that women do.
also,
“It’s not dog shit. It’s not black ice.
There are few professional rapists out there.
Most times it happens spur of the moment when the perp desires to gain the upper hand.
They’re not out there 24/7 with their raping gear in tow.”
this shows me that youre not up on rape/sexual assault statistics. the astounding frequency that rape occurs is proof that women have every reason to stay conscious of the possibility of being raped or accosted.
please read, listen, and educate.
